It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Randomize
