I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I have fence marks all over my body
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
i think we sleep fucked last night...
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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