nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
