was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Randomize
