I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Randomize
