called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
