So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Randomize
