Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Randomize
