Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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