How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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