How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
He kissed a someone with a penis
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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