maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
