Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize
