My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
