Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
my mouth tastes like poor choices
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Randomize
