she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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