i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
