I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
