I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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