What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
