but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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