There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize