I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I got inside last night via doggy door
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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