she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Randomize
