Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
It's just like the Real World with babies
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
