Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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