Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
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