did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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