I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
This toilet bowl is my home.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
