I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
whose ass print is on the piano?
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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