all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
