my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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