i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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