I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
