I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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