i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I just blew my weed a kiss
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
