Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
