I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
