There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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