Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
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