fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Found the puke drawer
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
