I'd wear matching sweaters with you
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
