wrigley field is MILF paradise
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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