It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
