You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Randomize