And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
