The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
My hand turned me down
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
You're a waste of cheezeits
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
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