I love black thongs
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
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