So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
