I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
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