Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
