Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
