do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
