I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
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