Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
