We won't sleep together?
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize