We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
