my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Found the puke drawer
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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