Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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