Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Randomize
