Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
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