I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
