She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize
