is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
no you cant smoke seaweed
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
We have so much sex to catch up on
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
