He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
