My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
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