After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize
